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Crossroads

To start...it's been a while. Even for me. My intentions are there, to blog, but I haven't. No excuses (oh I have them but what's the use).

So what's new? Probably more than what I can remember. Honestly my mind has been jumbled lately with ideas, random thoughts, that I forget about almost as quickly as they come), what "needs" to be done...as in right now, and what I'd like to do, but either don't have the energy or true desire to do, but the want to do's stay in my mind and nag at me (kind of like a gnat). It's been said that a road paved with good intentions... but let's hope that saying is incorrect.




Right now I'm at a crossroads of sorts. I want to take the next step forward to fulfill my dreams, but at the same time, I'm scared to death to make that move. I'm grateful for people who are encouraging me and helping stay accountable, but at the same time...I have a fear, deep down inside, to move forward. To expose myself and leave the raw truth out there for everyone to see is scary and very intimidating.

"What will the 'Christians' say?", "What will the unbelievers say", "What will my boss say?", "Does anyone really want to hear what I have to say?". These questions haunt my every thought.

If you are wondering what on earth I'm talking about, it's a book. One that I feel very strongly about writing. It's a book that I believe will help many, but expose me. This is defiantly new territory, and I am being stretched in every sense of the word. I'm just now beginning to understand now why author's always say "Thank You" to dear ones in their books, because this is a process...and for me...I think it's gonna be a long one filled with fear, tears and ultimately in the end...healing.

I am often astounded by those who seem to be able to put themselves out there for everyone to see. I am amazed at their courage and bravery. I just hope God knows really what he's doing, because I'm not sure at all.

~Jen
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